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The Pee Files  – another parenting adventure, a good few weeks have passed since I last wrote…

As most of you know, our house is in utter chaos at the moment! We left the US on June 8th, and our container of furniture and household items only arrived 4 days ago. Adding to our craziness is the fact that my husband (darling of note!) decided to get the kids a puppy… OK, she is adorable, I have to admit, but it’s like having another baby in the house (like I need that:) ). And to top it all off, I decided to start potty training my almost 3 yo. Don’t ask me why? I should be a seasoned Pee handler by now; an expert hand at timing these things, this being #4, but seriously… rookie error!

So this got me thinking about all the previous potty training escapades we’ve had… and yes, lucky you, I thought I’d share them. Be warned, this might get a little graphic.

  1. Potty training outdoors sure is fun, especially for boys, but who says girls can’t join in? Bum loved the fact that she could stand butt naked like her brothers and ‘water the plants”… The logistics didn’t work out so well but the giggles made it all worthwhile! (We had walls around our home – just for those of you wondering about public nudity complaints :-) )
  2. Those early mornings when the kids are wide awake… There is a whisper in the back of your head “TAKE THE CHILD TO THE TOILET” loud and clear, but the haziness of your glorious sleep takes over and you decide to hit the snooze button (metaphorically, of course, we have five little ones – we haven’t needed an alarm in years!). Only to wake up to wall mural of… yup, you guessed it… I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy!
  3. In public, the child is comfortable on the hip – I think you all know what’s coming – maintaining a semi-pro pose while doing the weekly shop. Then comes that warm feeling that wasn’t there a moment ago, trickling down your side. She looks up at you and, with a big smile, she says – I WEE’D – Why don’t we pack extra clothes in the diaper bag for adults?
  4. Because they are potty training… apparently we are too? With the immovable determination of any toddler, you are told that SHE will wipe you… No, no sweetheart, mommy can wipe herself, thanks. Then, while you’re still trying to explain that your mommy taught you how to do this when you were little, toilet paper is shoved into the loo with the speed and sleuth of a ninja (why can’t they move that quickly and expertly when they do things they are actually supposed to?) … Anyway, face tightens as said toddler gets the job done :)
  5. My absolute worst – “MOMMY! My finger, my finger.” “What is it, angel? What’s wrong?” Bending down to investigate, having the finger shoved in my face, realizing that it’s not sand or mud…

I must just say, my eldest, a total gem, never had an oopsie. Not sure what happened after that, but it all went downhill from there… fast :)

If you need a little comic relief, read all about our escapades in the Pee Files. I’m sure my kids will love me for that!

What is the worst potty training experience that you have had? Do share, I need to feel a little normal here!