Should I Be Sleep Training My Child? I’ve come to the point where I seriously think I need help – sleep help?
That’s the question I have been asking myself so much these past few weeks. I keep telling myself that it will all end soon. Doesn’t it?
I never had to sleep train my older 4 children. My eldest 2 sons just slept through. I mean, they woke up early and that was fine, but they generally slept from 7 pm to 5 am. My 2 daughters slept well. They would feed, sleep until about 1 am, feed and sleep until 6 am.
I’m totally clueless at this point!
However, this last little guy is draining the life out of my husband and I! I’m always wondering if it is because I was rushed back to hospital 4 days after he was born or that we packed up our house and moved across the globe when he was just 4 weeks old? Or that we lived temporarily with family while we waited for our house. Maybe it was because we slept on a blow-up mattress until our container arrived with all our furniture?
He had a hectic first few months to his life right? Obviously, he’s not sleeping because his little life has been disrupted so many times. Or should I blame the fact that he didn’t have his own nursery from the start, so he slept with us…
That has to be it? Although I often co-slept with my other children and they made the transition to their beds with ease. I love the fact that they still crawl into bed with us at 5 am and we cuddle until morning. Well, that was until their creeping into our room now wakes their little brother!
What to do?
I have been scouring the internet for some kind of lifeline that will get my 14-month-old to sleep through the night. I’ve always had the opinion that little babies don’t need to sleep through and that’s fine. But, 14 months? I’m starting to feel like my head is going to explode.
I’ve dropped his 2 naps to 1 nap a day. He generally goes down between 9:45 or 10 am, sometimes earlier depending on what kind of night he has had. Sometimes he has that second nap if he needs it. I try to gauge his mood and see what he needs each day.
I do like routine, but I’m not hectically governed by it.
One thing is for sure though. I am shattered, moody and overwhelmed right now. Just telling it like it is!
Well, I’ve decided to try out this sleep training thing. Let me just say that I in no way like hearing my child cry or believe in letting them scream for hours. I don’t judge any mom that has used that method… I just can’t! So this is what I’ve done.
Let me just add, he is also teething, so the little man is miserable!!
5:00 – Dinner (Which he didn’t eat)
5:30 – Bath (He hated that tonight)
5:45 – Family chill time
6:00 – Bedtime routine
6:15 – Upstairs to his room, cuddles, and kisses (The screaming started)
6:30 – I put him down and walked out
6:35 – I walked back in, calmed him down and walked out
6:40 – REPEAT
6:45 – REPEAT (Starting to calm down)
6:50 – You guessed it – REPEAT
6:55 – Yup…
7:00 – It seems quiet and then a cry and then quiet.
I’m holding thumbs, toes, hoping and praying it stays quiet.
7:10 – still quiet *sigh*
7:15 – Now I feel guilty, maybe I should have just cuddled him to sleep, he’s only a little boy!!!
7:20 – What am I going to do when he wakes up in 2 hours. ???
Honestly, I have no clue what I am doing. What should I do? Maybe I am putting him down too early? My other kids go to sleep at 7 pm? Maybe being in my bed from 10 pm to morning isn’t that bad? Is it? Sleep deprivation is something that I should just get used to? I should enjoy every moment (even the bad ones) because they grow up so fast.
I just don’t know?
Advice, in a non-judgemental way, is welcomed!! Hell, right now, I’ll pay you for it!
Ah my friend. Sorry to read this! I don’t have any advice because I gave up with my second and just let her sleep with us, but she is a good sleeper so it’s not really the same thing. I do think at some point we have to just accept certain things because continually trying to ‘fix’ something is often more exhausting then just accepting it.
Absolutely! That’s why we just let him sleep in our bed. But he is SO restless, he literally lies on my head :)… I’m so confused as what to do!! xx
I have no formal training but can say my kids are pro routine. My husband rocked Joshua to sleep every single night whilst he was a baby. Me, just completely refused to do it as I wanted him to self soothe.
Then Noah came along and he tried my way ? Noah self soothes. BUT teething or anything that generally makes them feel out of sorts disturbs routine.
Co-sleeping is not for me or my kids either. They are the worst sleepers, all over the place. So having them in their beds probably also set the routine for us.
Hang in there, it shall pass too. xx
I’m sure your husband was glad to follow your ways :)… Sometimes, I think I am just too exhausted and that’s why I let them sleep in my bed!!! Let’s hope it passes soon, or we will be meeting up for a glass of wine before you know it! x
Ah my friend!! I did a post on sleep. Oli was sleep trained at 7 months and slept like a charm until his sister arrived. Soph slept through from 4 months on her own until end of last year. I feel you. Hugs hugs hugs
Thanks love! Just when we think we have it all sorted, we are blindsided :)… Oh the joys!!
Oh it’s so hard isn’t it and they’re all so different. I would say, keep at it. You are obviously wanting him to sleep through but he hasn’t learnt to do this for himself so you will have to show him. Keep reassuring him and go back in to check him BUT do not let him come in with you or you will be back at square one. It’s tough but I have helped my sister with her children and it does work. Consistency is what is needed or just accept that he will be sleeping with you for a little longer! Good luck. #dreamteam
Thank you !! That’s what I am trying, tonight went a lot better. I’m holding thumbs this is what he needs. Otherwise, I am just clueless!
Ahh Jacqui, the sleep deprivation is no joke. I started very gentle sleep training with my 9 month old and followed a very similar pattern. His nights aren’t too bad (although he’s having his adenoids removed tomorrow because his nose is so chronic ?) but getting him down was just getting hectic. It would take me (and he only wanted me) about 45 minutes of rocking and singing before I could even think of putting him down. But it took about 2 weeks – with a regression in the middle – and now he goes down beautifully on his own (fingers crossed) I put him down sleepy but not asleep (which I never thought would work) and went in after 3 minutes, then 4 then 5 but never longer than 6 and tried not to pick him up unless he was really hysterical. It’s so hard but just takes them time. I didn’t sleep train him through the night at all (he still comes to our bed if I can’t settle him in his cot at 3am!) Good luck!! XXX
I know!! My son only wants me!!! It get’s exhausting :) It seems to have gotten better but he is still in our bed from 3am as well!!! Thanks for reading!
I think it’s definitely worth trying and persevering with sleep training. There’s loads of methods and I’ve tried quite a few. Hopefully you’ll find one that works. good luck #dreamteam
I hope so too! So far putting him down has gotten easier… Last night was literally a minute and he fell asleep! Holding thumbs! x
There isn’t a right answer or a magic formula as each child and family are different. What works for one doesn’t work for all … I hope you find something that works for you all soon
I’m so sorry to hear about your ruff nights.Although I feel everything that you are going through.My son is now 9 months old and J have been having sleep issues with him since the day he came home from the hospital.I don’t sleep I’m on full mode awake and redbull.I finally spoke to his Dr about getting a sleep study done.Turns out He is to small for a sleep study.So Dr suggested a sleep pattern every night after he is fed and showered give him calming sleep tablets which they sell over the counter for baby’s.It does not put him to sleep but once he falls to sleep it helps to keep him asleep for at least four hours.I tried it for a week.And now finally after 9 months of only sleeping 2 to 3 hrs a night he is now sleeping 6 to 7 hrs.He wakes up one time in between hrs.But falls back to sleep.Good luck Mom I hope things get better for you in time.
I wish I had some advice for you, but I only have a Lola and she sleeps like the exhausted canine she is. #DreamTeam
Don’t have any advice sorry, but our 2 year old is going through a sleep regression at the moment. We never sleep trained him, but starting to think maybe we should have. Is there really a one size fits all for getting toddlers to sleep through the night #dreamteam
I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I don’t I’m afraid. I only have the one and we have been relatively lucky! I hope you manage to get some results soon! Thanks so much for sharing with #TriumphantTales.
Oh lovely I feel for you I really do. My little girl was similar. As a baby she slept fine and I was relived but as she got older she got worse and there were nights she woke every hour, other nights I would only get about 3 hours broken sleep and then have to go to work. I went through the “I’m going to let her cry” but I can’t do that not without checking on her. It’s hard.
I did use a controlled crying method where you leave for 1 minute, then 2, then 3 and make it longer, I would never go longer than 5 but I wouldn’t ever speak to her just rub her back for a bit and leave. I was never in the room longer than a minute. It wasn’t easy and I don’t even know if it worked. She does now sleep from about 730 to 5 ish which I’ll take, is it because we ‘broke her habit’ or is it that she has had a break from teething? I have no idea. I hope you get a break soon x #TriumphantTales
Ahoyi, I am probably the least qualified among everyone here, but we tried Blissful Bambinos to help us get through and they were a godsend. Things are a bit more difficult as the wee one can now walk and run and is harder to keep contained, which is why we are thinking of getting them in again.
Things have been difficult mind, we were going nuts, neither of us was sleeping more than 4 hours a night. So this helped us move the little one to her own room and get her to sleep most of the night. We have had a few nights where she has fallen asleep by herself, and a couple of all nighters. Still a long journey for us, but def give those people at Blissful Bambino a shout. It was a hard start but got amazingly better after that!
Kids love doing activities with parents. And what more important is them having safety from activities they do. You could do this by using child friendly equipment.
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