Blog Posts,  Family

The Pee Files

Why is it that boys just cannot pee straight?

We have two little guys, and I can tell you from experience… no amount of “training” helps. Yes, I know using the word ‘training’ might make it sound like we think they’re puppies, but that’s exactly what it is – ‘training’. Day after day we keep hoping they’ll stay focused on the task at hand and just aim straight, but still, no progress… How long will we have to wait!? I guess until they’re teenagers, no wait… GROWN MEN! Oh Lord Help ME!

I bet they’re going to be absolutely mortified one day; when they realize I shared this story, but this is just too real (and awkwardly funny) not to share… Does that make me a terrible mother? ­čÖé … I just know that there are MANY moms out there who can relate to this. ┬áThere are times when I walk into the bathroom and I feel like I should start washing the ceiling!

You see, there is this huge┬ámirror in the kids’ bathroom, and just the other day I walked in to find┬ámy one superhero (he was literally wearing a Spiderman costume) standing by the toilet having a wee, staring at himself in the mirror, pulling every face in the book, whilst everything but the toilet bowl was being watered… Just picture yourself walking into a gym, you know those guys that stand in front of the mirrors pumping iron and staring at themselves… This is my one son, except he’s not lifting weights!


Every day mommy diligently wipes down the toilet so that it’ll be good and fresh for the day! I really don’t want one of my kids to catch some deadly virus just because I was too grossed out to clean it! But really, can’t they just learn to aim!?

Note to self… Maybe if I wear my superhero costume too I might live through this!

Keep an eye out for more from The Pee Files…


  • Brooke

    I can totally relate! Except my little guy is 8. For the most part it gets a little better. But, there are those days where he feels he has to check out the rest of the bathroom or perform a song and dance at the same time which leads to a not so good aiming technique. Then a week later I find dry pee left on the back of the toilet. I used to clean it off myself because I was so mad, and sometimes I still do just to get it done. But, lately I make him clean it off. It’s amazing how grossed out he gets……..DUDE, ITS YOUR PEE!!!!!! Lol. .Oh the joys of little boys……..and men too. ­čśë Good luck mama.

  • debsrandomwritings

    The men in my life are 49 and 19 and I swear if the toilet was the size of a swimming pool they would still miss. When my son was small I did draw a face on a ping pong ball and pop it in the loo when he wanted a widdle, in the hope that it would encourage him to focus on his aim. It worked at the time… Maybe it should be a constant fixture in the toilet?


  • Kristin McCarthy

    I have four girls so they dont pee on the floor- the twins are still in diapers and at this rate will be starting prmary school in those things! Potty training the twins has been a challenge to say the least.

    Buuuuuuut their toilet habit still suck. They never ever EVER flush the toilet and use a whole roll of tp each time they pee!

  • Coffee & Bubbles

    This will be me soon. My husband could never get it all the bowl, we’re divorced now (not only because of his inability to aim) so I have one less willy on the loose to worry about! #chucklemums

  • Beta Mummy

    My two boys (4 and 2) like to pee standing up, at the same time. They also like to have “wee fights”….don’t ask.
    On the plus side, they put the toilet seat down, most of the time! #smallvictories ­čśë

    Thanks for joining #chucklemums

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