There are often days that get so busy or “out of hand” that I tend to forget to affirm my children for all the little positive things they do during the day. We get so caught up in trying to correct their negative behavior (because that is our job/hope as parents – to raise noncriminals 🙂 ) that we sometimes fail to uplift and praise them as well.
We are so flustered because we are running between work, children and other household responsibilities that we tend to neglect the need to stop, and appreciate the effort that our little ones have put into doing what’s right.
A few days ago I suddenly caught myself in a moment of clarity, and I realized that I had been particularly negative in my words that day. I was focusing too much on the negative behavior of my children. And it turned out to be quite a negative day. Not so fun for mommy and kids.
So, I had a light bulb moment in the shower. I guess this is the time when we can actually stop and think for a few short minutes if we’re lucky.
I decided to write a list of 20 phrases that I believe my children need to hear from me. I wrote it out and stuck it on the fridge (because I know I will forget otherwise – baby steps). Yes I know, these should come naturally to a parent, and most times they do, but on those days when I need a reminder… I know where it is…
So here is my list:
- I LOVE you – every day, all day, in any situation… I love YOU!
- I am SO proud to be your mommy!
- I’m stopping what I am doing, I’m listening to you my angel, what do you have to say? (While looking my child in the eyes.)
- That was such a kind thing to do!
- You are mommy’s special helper.
- I appreciate you so very much!
- You are such a great kid!
- You have the most beautiful smile, mommy really loves it when you smile.
- Wow, you are so talented, that’s great!
- You are my favorite (enter age… i.e.: 3 years old)
- I missed you so much today, I’m so glad you’re back from school.
- What a fantastic game you made, why don’t we play this together.
- You made a mistake and that was wrong, but I also make mistakes, so let’s learn together.
- I love it when you help mommy clean up, you are very responsible!
- Thank you!
- You are so beautiful/handsome.
- You did your best and that is perfect!
- Great thinking, you come up with the best ideas!
- Mommy was wrong, sorry!
- You are such a special kid, inside and out, you make my heart so full!
It is so easy to become too focused on the negative side of parenting, the rules and expectations that are sometimes not met and how we tend to deal with it because we are tired. Not that we need a list but a reminder is sometimes a good thing!