What To Do When You Are Drowning In Insecurities?
The definition of insecurity is as follows – the anxiety or uncertainty about oneself.
As women, we tend to be overcome with insecurities. I know this may seem a bold statement, if not an over-simplified generalization… Show me a lady that does not have any insecurities and I will happily eat my words (and apologise). We are emotionally wired. It’s part of our genetic makeup to interpret and process things from a place of emotion.
I was doing some research for this post and came across an article written by Womenio. In this article, it states that these are the 15 most common insecurities that plague us ladies.
- Weight (I think that should be right on top of the list)
- Hair colour
- Eye colour
- Breast size
- Maybe will not call me back
- I guess just wants to sleep with me
- Is he dating other women?
- He is not attracted to me anymore
- Creative Life
- Intellectual life
Let’s start by looking at WHAT makes us insecure?
There are many reasons why we are insecure, but the downright truth is: we just don’t feel good enough. This can stem from past experiences that have had a lasting negative impact on us, these experiences lead to low self-esteem. Low self-esteem finds a seat deep within ourselves and runs over into the different aspects mentioned above.
What happens WHEN our insecurities rise?
The old saying, “actions speak louder than words” rings very true when dealing with our own insecurities. Often when we are speaking unkindly about another person, breaking them down and generally just being negative. We are subconsciously projecting our own insecurities on to their “person”. It’s not necessarily them that’s the problem.
You see, it is far easier to break down another person by making ourselves look like the “top dog” than deal with the real reason for why we are insecure. Bringing up those reasons can be painful, therefore we look for the easy way out.
Within relationships, our insecurities hold us hostage and we become people that we don’t recognize. Some of us settle for relationships that are poisonous because we don’t feel like we deserve better.
What Can You Do When You Are Drowning In Insecurities
Cut The Cord
Remove yourself from toxic relationships where you are drowned by insecurities. We need to surround ourselves with people that lift us up, encourage us and push us to be a better version of ourselves!
Embrace Positive Thinking
This for me is crucial to surviving our insecurities. I believe these negative thoughts can steal so much joy from us. They are like weeds that take over our soul and leave us feeling empty and broken. When those negative thoughts and feelings start to disturb the surface, drive them away, fight them by speaking positively about the situation. Now I’m not saying you should publicly repeat positive phrases to yourself, that would just look odd. However, stop, take a deep breath and YES, begin thinking positively. The more of a habit this becomes the easier it is to believe about ourselves!
Start Appreciating Yourself
Know your worth. Believe in yourself. Remind yourself daily of all your positive attributes. Do things that you love, that make YOU happy. Have your nails done, a new hairdo, go for a walk, anything that reminds you of what a good person you are and makes you feel gorgeous.
Be Mindful Of Your Reactions
If you find yourself in a situation that brings forth those insecurities. Take note of how you react. Make a conscious decision to change your response. This will make you aware of what gives rise to your insecurities and help you consciously change your behaviour.
Know The Truth
Know that most people are not aware of your insecurities. They don’t stand in front of you thinking, oh boy this chick is freaking out. Our insecurities are within ourselves. We can choose how to deal with them and overcome them.
We just have to take the first step.
I wrote a post on how I survived my own insecurities. You can read it here :)
Did you enjoy What To Do When You Are Drowning In Insecurities? Please let me know in the comments below.
Fantastic post as always! Xx
Back from #globalblogging. Hope you’re having an awesome weekend! x
Wow love this!
I think these ideas would be valuable to someone in a vulnerable place. Good advice #globalblogging
It is not always easy to “cut the cord” with a toxic relationship but in the end, it is worth doing. Wonderful article. #globalblogging
Good advice. This list is very disturbing to some point: I can’t really imagine having insecurities over my eye colour – but definitely yes nearly half of the list, and I consider myself a self confident person! It’s great that you raise awareness. #globalblogging
“Know the truth”… we always look at other (women) and think wow, she’s got her shit together/ shes so confident or similar when inside she is probably bricking it as much as the rest of us. Great post #globalblogging
Love this. It’s so powerful. #GlobalBlogging
Love this – some helpful advice.#globalblogging
Thanks for sharing. Great read. My wife and I have adopted the a few phrases to help get past our anxieties: 1) “success is a mindset” inspired by Get Hard. 2) feel the fear and do it anyway. They work for us at least ?
Why is it that our own insecurities are bigger to us in our own heads than they need to be? Some of the things in that list surprised me, like eye colour and hair colour! I agree that knowing your worth is so valuable, it is what gives us purpose and is so vital for those who suffer from depression to recognise. #globalblogging
Lots to think about here. I find that now I am a parent a lot of my old insecurities have evaporated as image just doesn’t feel as important to me. And I want to be a positive role model. But now my insecurities are about, Can I still do my job? Am I more than just a mother? I work hard to keep my identity. #GlobalBlogging
Great post. I don’t think deep-rooted insecurities ever go away, but they can ebb and flow and change over time. Like you say, the biggest power we have is to choose how we feel. #globalblogging
I fully believe in cutting the cord. If there’s something in your life that isn’t making you happy, get rid. Life really is too short. #GlobalBlogging
Much needed advice, Jacqui! I liked reading this as it applies to my teen and tween. I’m trying hard to teach them “Know the truth” that not everyone is aware of their supposed insecurities. Really, no one is noticing. But at that age they think everyone is watching them. Sigh!
Great advice for beating insecurities. Important issue as so many people have them. #globalblogging
Yes! Great post. It’s up to us as women to uplift those around us. I have a hard time believing it’s men that make us feel insecure. More often it’s women in our lives.
Wonderful advice x
Excellent post. I see so many wonderful women cutting themselves down over things that really don’t matter in the great scheme of things.
Great advice :-) #globalblogging
Great tips and ideas here. It’s true that we ladies can be very insecure. Happens to me all the time. I think you’re so right in suggesting positive self talk, and removing yourself from those negative relationships.
I think we have all felt insecure at some point. Wonderful post #globalblogging
I have always been insecure and i think having hearing problems as a kid started it off as family members couldnt understand me so i had my sister translate for me. Since then i’ve always been self conscious until I got with Hubby. He’s honestly the best person for my confidence and him and his family have over the years let me love myself through their love and reassurance that they love me for me, faults and all! #globalblogging
The things you describe in how to deal with insecurities are the very things I use to improve myself as a person. I think this is a lifetime journey for all of us as we grow and learn more about ourselves and our world but they are perfect for overcoming our own insecurities as well. Very well put! Thanks so much for sharing this with us! #globalblogging
It’s not always easy to simply cut the cord depending on what relationship we are talking about. #Globalblogging
This is a fantastic post, everyone can benefit from reading this. I love the advice to mind how you react, you alone control many outcomes through how you handle them. #GlobalBlogging
Insecurities are a pain to deal with, regardless of gender. It takes a strict conscious effort to deal with personal insecurities and rise above, even when you doubt your own positive thoughts. Great post.
Fab post!!! I know for me personally to overcome many of my insecurities cutting toxic people out of my life was a massive one , as is knowing your worth #globalblogging
Thank you for writing this. Money and weight gain are two of my worst insecurities. Though it’s not always in the form of money. As a stay home mom, there’s very little tangible contributions I can make, but Maverick is always appreciative. It’s definitely time to appreciate myself.
[…] aim is to write to the “Woman” who is experiencing this present darkness, to offer some comfort and help restore her […]
[…] I am better able to deal with trying situations, and life in general. I’m calmer and more resilient. Better able to step back and […]
[…] brings us indescribable joy. Sometimes we are so stuck DOING life, that we forget to be really PRESENT in our lives. We need to teach ourselves to not be afraid of living our lives with our hearts. By […]
[…] would tell my little girl To Be True To Herself like Caster; who knows her identity and claims it with grace, regardless of what others might tell […]
[…] what most people don’t know is that I am incredibly insecure. I’m not even sure that I could pinpoint where it comes from. I guess I’ve learnt how […]