Taking a Fresh Look at Yourself. A few days ago, I wrote a post called “Mother LOAD.” In this post, I spoke about how often we are so busy being wives, mothers, friends, career women, and so on, that we may forget who WE are (self-love). Sometimes, our dreams and aspirations get put aside so we can fulfil a very important role. And that’s OK… SOMETIMES!

Learning to put yourself first in no way means that you are negating your role as a mother, etc. It just means you know the importance of being in a healthy place to succeed at what you have been called to do/be. Because the reality is that if we are not healthy, often our families suffer because of it. That’s why I called my previous article “THE MOTHERLOAD”: it may feel like a load, and when that happens, we should know it’s time for some self-care.

We should not feel guilty about taking some “time out”. In fact, I think our families will be grateful that we acknowledge the need for it. For you see, we will walk back into our home ready for another round of parenting. Well rested, feeling calm and in control.

So, how do we do this?

I believe there are 4 very important components. Yes, it might be different for other moms, but this works for me… We need to ensure that we are physically, emotionally, and spiritually in tune, and then some.

1. Physically

By saying we need to be physically healthy and active, I don’t mean we need to be ready to take on the next Ironman. Trust me, I’ve just had a kid (the baby weight is still lingering), and the Ironman isn’t on my list of things to do…

But in all honesty, when we are active and exercise, our bodies release the beautiful, inner “happy” magic called endorphins, which trigger a positive feeling. So, for me… Whenever I get the chance to, I go for a run. If that isn’t an option, I try to go to the gym (ours has great childcare facilities). Or even just a walk around the park/block with the kids – they are happy, and I am happy! That ENDORPHIN magic is great, once they kick in. So whatever we can fit into our schedule will work, and it’ll be well worth it!

2. Emotionally

This can be a tricky one. Each of us is wired differently, and so are our emotional needs. Being emotionally fit takes a lot more work than physical fitness (I believe)… This is a much deeper, more vulnerable aspect of ourselves that we must continually redirect. I don’t think this redirection ever stops. It is the ability to turn all negative feelings into positive ones. Once we realise how powerful our thoughts are, we begin to see that most things in our lives are the way they are because WE allow them to be. That may be a bitter pill to swallow. I think some reflection time will help us learn how to fill our emotional tanks.

What moves your soul? For me, it’s writing or music… Just pausing for a moment, in the midst of a frantic day, to pour out my thoughts in some form of writing, or to sing or listen to a few notes, fills my soul immediately… We need to believe in ourselves, trust ourselves, engage in the things we know give us a sense of fulfilment, and before we know it, our smiles will tell the story of our true happiness.

3. Spiritually

Now, this could turn into a debate, and I don’t intend it to. Many of us have different beliefs and religious practices… and I in no way am here to be judgmental or critical of your faith. I’m just sharing my story, and I hope it resonates with you. To fill myself spiritually, I PRAY… The beautiful thing about prayer is that it can be done anywhere, anytime, and in any frame of mind. To lay bare my emotions, fears, and joys is a reawakening experience. I never walk away unfulfilled. None of us is perfect; we all have our faults and fears. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and he understands – so let’s be brave and honest in our prayers. For me, the best way to find spiritual fulfilment is in daily prayer. You will know what yours is, but, whatever it is, do it… because we need this dimension of our ‘self’ to be fulfilled.

4. Do What You Love

This must be the easiest one… Doing what we love creates excitement and peacefulness in us. It gives us a sense of satisfaction, and, as I said above, SELF-CARE is a wonderful and vital thing! Whether it be reading, writing, a massage, manicure, pedicure, or coffee in your favorite coffee shop… The indulgence is yours and yours alone… So make time for it…