What exactly are the parenting styles of today, and which one do you fit into? Being raised by baby boomers, parenting took on an entirely different format; it was just that, parenting. There were no definitions, no influx of information. You were raised. Point blank. Nowadays, we have so much information at our fingertips that it may seem a little overwhelming. Tiresome to be honest. Being a parent now comes with definitions, titles, explanations, and “how-to” lists.
What exactly are the parenting trends of today? And how do we know if we fit into any of the categories? Let’s explore…
1. Helicopter parenting
We’ve all heard this term before. Picture yourself hovering over your children, constantly at their sides, taking care of every little detail, making sure there is little to no room for mistakes and bumps and bruises along the way, and interfering in all they do. Smothering the life out of them. It is said that children raised in such an environment become overly dependent on their parents and are never brave enough to venture into the world on their own.
2. Lawnmower parenting
Lawnmower parenting is an excessive form of overinvolvement in our children’s lives, with a particular focus on removing all obstacles from their paths. Picture yourself frantically running in front of your child, “mowing down” any obstacle in their way. Protecting them from any form of distress. Smoothing over every rough edge in their way. Children raised in this way become fearful of the unknown, unable to deal with the curveballs that life throws at them, and quite entitled to having problems solved on their behalf rather than by them.
3. Instinctive parenting
Sometimes I think that this is what parenting must have been like in the “Baby Boomer” days. Just going with your gut, and most times just winging it. This was probably shaped by the way we were raised or by what we saw around us. Trusting your instincts to do what you thought was best. Children raised this way may be at risk of becoming impulsive and inconsistent in how they process and handle difficult situations.
4. Authoritative parenting
Authoritative parenting seems to be making a comeback. Parenting in a way that entails rules and guidelines, with the expectation that these need to be followed. However, I do feel that this form of parenting has become rather democratic; parents are more understanding when expectations are not met. They tend to be more responsive in communicating their disappointment and following through with assertive discipline rather than intensive punishment. Children raised this way may grow up with a tendency to accept authority for what it is and less willingness to question the status quo.
5. Attachment Parenting
Attachment parenting is all about forming a strong emotional bond. These parents choose to meet their children’s needs immediately by opening themselves emotionally to their children at all times. By doing so, they hope to raise peaceful, empathetic children. According to some statistics, it is believed that attachment parents advocate strongly for natural childbirth, co-sleeping, and are supporters of the anti-vaccination movement.
6. Permissive parenting
Ever heard that saying, ” My child is my best friend? Well, this is where permissive parenting fits in. Parents who adopt this particular style have relatively low expectations/demands of their children. Rarely disciplined and can come across as being indulgent. These parents avoid confrontation and are seen as nurturing and communicative. The dangers, in this case, are that children may grow up with low expectations for themselves and others and may be unable to cope with criticism at work or at home.
7. Tiger parenting
Tiger parenting is an incredibly autocratic, strict, and demanding form of parenting. Tiger parents are forceful and pressure their children to achieve high levels of academic success or succeed in high-status extracurricular activities. It is seen that there is no rest for children raised in this environment.
So, what parenting style do you fit into?
I personally don’t believe that as parents we can fit into just one of the above-mentioned parenting styles. At most, I think some of us are a mix of these, and many overlapping points can be seen in parenting today.
We shouldn’t be stressing out so much. We should be helicopter parents; we live in a frightening world, after all. We should, to a certain degree, help educate our children on how to “mow” the obstacles out of their way. Encouraging them to use their instincts in their decisions. Allowing them the freedom to be authoritative in the choices they make, all the while keeping the communication open. We want them to be emotionally open and empathetic to others and themselves. Following their instincts through their journey of life. Achieving all they can in life and setting high standards for themselves.
So, my advice… Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook or an easy-to-follow recipe. Ditch all the labels and adopt the best aspects of each parenting style. Forget about all the pressure and just enjoy being a parent. Some days will be perfect, and some days will suck!!!! In the end, your children will know that they are loved beyond all measure, and that’s what truly matters most.
Did you enjoy? What exactly are the parenting styles of today, and which one do you fit into? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
This article was previously published on The Citizen
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