I’m about to have a little
rant, discussion (on motherhood)… I hope you don’t mind!
The fact that some people think parenting can be perfect, baffles me! Seriously, it does.
I read a post on Facebook the other day, which clearly stated that any mom can go shopping in peace, have enough good sleep, doesn’t need to cook with a baby in one arm and that a mother can even go to the toilet without disruption, and mothers who lament that they never have a moment’s silence, where buying into nonsense, and bullshit! Yup, it said that!
This post basically said that mothers can do life without ever being disrupted? hmmm! I read this in utter disbelief. I don’t care if you have one child or 5 (like me)… There are times when NOTHING is peaceful. Yes, NOTHING!!!
I’m not saying that parenting isn’t amazing, or rewarding, or incredible! Or that mothers and fathers aren’t the best things since sliced bread. However, the reality is, that parenting is hard. FULL STOP!
For another mother to make such a bold statement is INSULTING and presumptuous. Just because she might have a child that sleeps through the night, eats any and every food, and NEVER has a meltdown doesn’t mean that parenting is perfect! It just means that she is one hell of a lucky mother to have such an easy going child. Let me just state for the record, that NONE of my 5 children have ever done all of the above.
Does that make me a bad parent? Hell no! It makes me a REAL parent.
Did the mother who posted that, ever stop to think that each child is different, having different temperaments and characteristics? That circumstances for other families might be far different from her own? That there might be a parent who needs to work late in order to bring home an income and therefore the child might be anxious, and clingy, maybe even whine all afternoon?
What about the single parent that needs to cook dinner but has a crying child by their side, would they dare pick that child up whilst they are cooking dinner?
Or the child separated from their parents for their own safety. Gosh, please don’t say that child cries or has emotional meltdowns. I mean, parenting is perfect, right?
What about the adoptive parent that is trying to guide their child through feelings of abandonment. Is that child not allowed to be distressed?
By writing such an unthoughtful statement, she just made (and I’m projecting here) 80% of the parenting population feel like shitty parents.
The reality is, we all have moments when our children won’t sleep. Or they have a rough day (just like we do) and need to cry it out. When they are frustrated and lash out, or when they constantly follow us to the toilet or kick us in the face when sleeping in our bed.
Yes, as parents we might need to vent in our exhaustion. There is nothing wrong with that, but, if you have the “perfect” child, don’t make the rest of us feel like failures. That’s just not OK.
Our experiences are our own, and I am truly happy that this mother is experiencing that perfection of parenting, but don’t take away from my experience.
Think before you speak!
So, to all the parents out there who are exhausted, trying to raise their children as best they can. I’m rooting for you!! We just need to keep loving them through their bad days, just as they love us through ours.