Blog Posts,  Family

OK! I will admit it, I lie to my children.

Now, let me be clear, I am not advocating lying. Obviously lying is wrong! We were taught that as kids, and now we pass that lesson on to our children… But…

Let me start as most lies do; with a bit of justification… You see, I often find myself at a loss for words. Perhaps because much of my immediate environment is chaos (personified in 4 little ones). Whether at home, in the car, or out shopping, sometimes I find myself treading water. The tantrums and moans about who’s teasing who, shrieks about taking each others’ toys…

So yes… I tell fibs – sometimes 🙂 This is my distraction method, to momentarily halt the impending breakdowns that threaten to ensue.

Let this post, then, serve as a confession of sorts.

Here are my top 4 lies…

  1. The “I have no idea” lie

Guys, have you seen my phone? I can’t find it anywhere, and I have ‘no idea’ where I put it. I have to phone your Pappa… QUICK everybody search! Ready, Steady, and GO! Let’s see who can find it first.

Little do they know that my phone is safe and secure under my butt. Yes, I hide it, all in an attempt to gain some control, and to distract them from whatever activity was about to cause the next domestic disaster.

2.  The “I’m Choosing” lie

As most of us know, the remote for the television is a dividing factor in any household. My kids aren’t old enough to use the remote correctly, but they do have ongoing arguments about who gets to watch what program. My simple solution; I just say it’s my day to choose. That wins them all immediately, as they try and guess what I will choose. Of course, I don’t want to be unkind, so I make sure that every time it’s my turn I choose, I alternate between their favorite shows, but hey, they don’t need to know that. This mama knows her tricks!

3. The “I haven’t seen it” lie 

Sometimes our children end up with some really cute but annoying toys. You know the ones with batteries, a few of them don’t even need batteries, just a drumstick. After a long day, it’s enough to drive you up the wall.

Well… When that cute little body says, “Mom do you know where my whatchamacallit is?”, that’s when this mama puts on her sweetest (most innocent) face and replies, “No sweetie, I haven’t seen it.”, and send them on their way in search of it. Now, this might seem cruel, but sometimes all the repetitive songs and noise is just too much too bare… Don’t judge me! I’m just trying to survive here.

4. The “What’s that?” lie

I must admit, this is my favorite lie! Can I say that?

It works like a charm, anytime, anywhere! In the store, driving in the car or even out in the garden. My kids fall for it every time, hook, line, and sinker.

Whenever the possibility of a sibling war shows itself (usually for no good reason whatsoever), I quickly put on my best-animated voice and say, “Hey guys, what’s that? I think I saw a lizard, hurry let’s catch it before it disappears”. And off they run…

Let me tell you, we can spend ages looking for that lizard!

I think I should call these my sanity-saving lies… All in good humor!  So what do you “fib” about?

Featured on The Mum Project #StayClassy link party! & Mom Muddling Through #coolmumclub



  • ShanBaylis

    Oh how I love “I haven’t seen it” lie! We use it for them occasionally but when we shop for toys we keep ourselves in mind too so that we don’t have to do this. There are times when other people buy or give them toys that we end up wanting to throw in the bathtub and run hot water over it. We have completely used up the “I’m Choosing” lie they no longer want to hear that and cry over it. We use chromecast on their tv so no one has a remote (my 6 and 4 year old both know how to use a remote well). These are not really lies, they are more along the lines of bending the truth to bring peace and tranquility. They will thank you for it later when they are older and understand.

    • jaxbest4

      We do what we can don’t we 😉
      Let’s hope they are thankful, one day they will follow in our footsteps and see our reasoning! Thank you for visiting! x

      • ShanBaylis

        Yes and that we are here to teach them that everything is not so black and white. Also sometimes it is good for things to be a little more colorful because everything is not so simple. You’re welcome!

  • The Mum Project

    Hahah this really made me laugh. Number 2 is really sweet, I fear that once my little one is old enough to have an argument about what’s on TV I may just put Greys Anatomy on ; ).

    I love this and will be stealing a few of these! “What’s that? The Ninja Turtles are at the front door!” Thanks for linking up with #stayclassy!

  • motherhoodtherealdeal

    Basically, becoming a parent makes you the biggest liar out unless you are a saint or an angel, which most of us are not…because we are only human! I am also a big fat lying machine these days! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x

  • Candace Guiducci

    my mother-in-law tries using the what’s that lie all the time with my daughter when she’s having a S*** fit – it’s usually not enough to deter her from her course of action. Maybe it will be more successful when my son is older and the sibling fighting ensues.

  • Nicole - Tales from Mamaville

    Agree Jacqui, these are not lies but survival tactics, fibs we need to tell to be able to get through the day. I also love the one where I’ve thrown away some crap artwork and innocently try and help my son find it later! Oh, and also telling him that something is spicy so that he will let me eat it in peace. #itsok, right?

  • Sons Over the Yardarm

    Ooh, I love a little lie to small children. I got away with “Pokemon won’t work on our TV” for nearly two years. Now the little buggers can find Netflix themselves though so am buggered….still, good while it lasted. #itsok

  • Josie - Me, Them and the Others

    I use the “I haven’t seen it” lie all the time. I hate noisy toys and when I worked in libraries I used to relocate noisy books to other libraries! I might have to try the “I have no idea” lie but, at 6 and 8, I think mine might be a bit old to fall for it!

  • Tracey Carr

    Oh the “I haven’t seen it” one is the best. I have hidden toys and taken batteries out so many times I can’t even keep count. Another one I use all the time is when they happen to get their hands on either mine of my husband’s mobile phone and they want me to unlock it so they can watch cartoons on YouTube – I always pretend the battery has gone and I need to plug it in and charge it first. They normally accept this which avoids a lot of fighting and tears. You just do whatever you have to do! #itsok

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