I saw a post on Facebook about having a cesarean that really struck a nerve with me. And I’ve been thinking about how I can discuss the issue it dealt with in a way that honors all the varied opinions on it… but I guess there is no better way than to just be HONEST! (So here goes.)
In the post, it was proclaimed that c-section birth is inferior in every way to vaginal birth and that we do our children a disservice by not choosing a vaginal birth over a c-section… I am fed up (to put it mildly) with all the noise regarding which birthing choice is better! Yes, we have a right to our opinion, and I am all for that, but when we start making people around us feel uncomfortable and hurt them with our words, then, in MY OPINION, it’s best to keep our opinions to ourselves.
Don’t you think?
You see, we have no idea what makes a mother decide on how to bring HER baby into the world. I know there are many academic articles with “proven” facts and effects on both vaginal and cesarean birth, there are pros and cons to both. How have we as mothers become the judge and jury on which one is THE PERFECT METHOD? Just because a mother did not give birth naturally does not mean that her baby’s birth was any less real, or in any way less profound and beautiful! The same goes for the mother that chooses to breastfeed, and the one that doesn’t (or can’t). What drives me nuts is the suggestion that a child born by cesarean section will not be healthy, or grow as strong, as a baby born by vaginal birth… Seriously?!
Likewise, a mother who chooses vaginal delivery is not “less” brave because she doesn’t have a scar to prove it (yes, I’ve heard some suggest that too). I am fairly positive that we all have beautiful stretchmarks that serve as ample ‘proof’ of our courage in pregnancy and birth.
A mother’s choice is exactly that… A mother’s choice?
When did we become so disregarding the feelings of other moms? How could we possibly be cruel enough to suggest that one mother’s journey through birth is less legitimate than another’s? That’s absurd!
There have been many women whose birthing experience was hard and almost fateful, things didn’t go as planned, and that alone leaves an emotional scar. What about those women who cannot have the joy of experiencing birth at all (and yes that includes a cesarean)? How do we make them feel when we spout our forceful views on which birth choice is the best – like everyone will have the choice at some point? And what about the mom who adopts a baby, is her emotional birth somehow less significant than that of a vaginal or cesarean birth?
I get terribly sad when I see moms becoming so nasty (not to mention petty) because they believe their opinion to be right. There are many factors involved in having a baby. It is an emotional and exhausting roller coaster ride. Once that little bundle of joy is conceived (however it is conceived) it should be nurtured… and, to me, the only thing that matters is making sure that that beautiful life comes into the world peacefully and safely.
Isn’t the ultimate goal of MEETING your baby however he/she arrives. Make sure they are safe in your arms where they belong.
So, really ladies, even though our opinions and beliefs are important to us, it is simply not worth using them to hurt other moms by pretending that our choice was the only legitimate option. So let’s rather just rejoice in the safe arrival of every baby, and celebrate birth in all its forms.
If you have any thoughts or comments, even opinions, I would love to hear them… Please feel free to comment below.