Are we raising racist children?

The Cost of Avoidance: Why Conversations About Race Matter

Racism is not an accident. It does not emerge spontaneously in an individual overnight. Rather, it is a product of learned behaviors, shaped by subtle and overt influences in our environments. As a society, we cannot afford to continue avoiding conversations about race, believing that silence protects our children from prejudice. On the contrary, our reluctance to address racial differences and injustices does more harm than good.

Understanding Racism as a Learned Behavior

To understand the roots of racism, we must first acknowledge that no one is born with discriminatory beliefs. Prejudice is absorbed, often unconsciously, through the words, actions, and attitudes present in a child’s surroundings. Whether through family discussions, school environments, or even religious institutions, racial attitudes are shaped long before a child reaches adulthood.

While some individuals and groups deliberately perpetuate racist ideologies, many others pass on biases unintentionally. Careless language, unexamined social norms, and implicit biases contribute to shaping young minds. Parents, teachers, and caregivers must recognize their influence in shaping children’s perspectives. Instead of assuming children will “naturally” adopt inclusive and accepting attitudes, we must be proactive in guiding them towards a worldview that values diversity.

The Role of Early Education in Racial Awareness

Children begin noticing racial differences at a very young age. Studies show that infants as young as six months old can recognize differences in skin color. By preschool age, children begin forming opinions about those differences based on societal cues. This is precisely why we must start conversations about race early, before biases become ingrained.

As a former teacher, I recall starting each academic year with a theme called “All About Me.” Children would eagerly draw self-portraits, which we displayed on classroom walls. Their artwork showcased a beautiful array of skin tones, facial features, and personal expressions. In these moments, we celebrated each child’s uniqueness. However, simply celebrating diversity is not enough. We must also actively teach children the significance of racial identity, both their own and others’, to build a society rooted in mutual respect and understanding.

The Parent’s Role: Breaking the Cycle of Avoidance

One of the most damaging assumptions parents make is believing that children will naturally “know what is right.” Many parents avoid discussing race because they fear they might say the wrong thing or expose their children to concepts they believe are too complex. However, silence does not promote racial harmony; it allows implicit biases to take root unchecked.

Children are like sponges, absorbing information from their environment, both the good and the bad. If we do not actively teach them about equality, acceptance, and the importance of diversity, they will instead absorb prejudices from media, social interactions, and historical inequalities that persist in society. Are we prepared to take responsibility for how our children perceive those who are different from them?

Facing Our Discomfort

Before we can effectively teach our children about race, we must first confront our own biases and discomforts. Many adults were raised in environments where race was either a taboo topic or was discussed in ways that reinforced stereotypes. It is essential to reflect on our personal experiences and beliefs to engage in honest and constructive conversations with the next generation.

Avoiding discussions about race does not make racism disappear. Instead, it allows structural inequalities and prejudices to persist. If we wish to raise children who value and embrace diversity, we must model those values ourselves. This means being open to learning, unlearning, and evolving in our understanding of race and identity.

A Nation of Diversity: The Strength in Differences

We live in an incredibly diverse world, rich with languages, cultures, and histories. Instead of fearing these differences, we should celebrate them. Teaching children about cultural appreciation helps foster a society in which people of all backgrounds feel valued and respected.

History has shown us time and time again that societies thrive when they embrace diversity. In countries around the world, movements for justice and equality have been led by individuals who dedicated their lives to creating inclusive and equitable communities. These are the role models we should introduce to our children.

Learning from the Past: Honoring Those Who Fought for Equality

We must teach children about historical figures who have fought for racial equality. Individuals like Martin Luther King Jr., Frederick Douglass, Sojourner Truth, and Yuri Kochiyama worked tirelessly to dismantle systems of oppression and pave the way for future generations.

Similarly, in South Africa, we have our own heroes who fought for justice and equality. Steve Biko, Helen Suzman, Albert Luthuli, Nelson Mandela, Victoria and Griffiths Mxenge, Ashley Kriel, Ahmed Timol, and Neil Aggett dedicated their lives to the struggle against apartheid and systemic racism. Their sacrifices were not made in vain. We owe it to our children to share these stories, ensuring they understand the resilience and courage that shaped the world they live in today.

By teaching children about these figures, we empower them with knowledge and inspire them to carry forward the fight for justice. We instill in them a sense of responsibility to continue building a society that values equality over division.

Encouraging Difficult Conversations

Talking about race is not always comfortable. It requires us to address our own misunderstandings, fears, and past mistakes. However, discomfort should not be a reason to remain silent. Rather, it should be an indication that these discussions are necessary.

Children are naturally curious. They will ask questions about racial differences, skin color, and inequality. Instead of shying away from these conversations, we should embrace them as opportunities to teach empathy and understanding. Encouraging children to ask questions, express their thoughts, and learn from one another helps dismantle the barriers that perpetuate racism.

Taking Action: Moving Beyond Words

While conversations about race are essential, they must also be accompanied by action. Raising socially conscious children means engaging in activities that promote inclusivity and justice. Some ways to do this include:

1. Diversifying Books and Media: Choose books, movies, and television shows that feature diverse characters and narratives. Representation matters, and exposing children to different cultures through storytelling helps normalize diversity.
2. Attending Cultural Events: Participate in community events that celebrate different cultures, traditions, and histories. This firsthand experience helps children appreciate diversity beyond a theoretical level.
3. Encouraging Friendships Across Racial Lines: Foster an environment where children feel comfortable building friendships with peers from different backgrounds. Exposure to diverse perspectives helps break down prejudices.
4. Supporting Inclusive Education: Advocate for curricula that include diverse voices and historical truths. Education should reflect the experiences of all racial and ethnic groups, not just the dominant narrative.
5. Speaking Out Against Injustice: Teach children to recognize and challenge discrimination when they see it. Whether in the classroom, on the playground, or later in their workplaces, they should feel empowered to stand up for equality.

Shaping a Future Without Racism

As cliché as it may sound, our children are the future. The way we teach them to view race today will shape the world of tomorrow. If we fail to address racial issues head-on, we risk allowing history to repeat itself in cycles of division and injustice.

We must be intentional in guiding our children toward an appreciation of diversity. We must teach them to celebrate their differences, to ask the difficult questions, and to learn from one another. Only then can we hope to create a society where racial prejudice no longer dictates the course of history.

Silence on the topic of race does not equal neutrality—it perpetuates ignorance and inequality. By facing our own discomfort, engaging in meaningful conversations, and taking actionable steps, we can break the cycle and build a future rooted in understanding and respect.

#SayNoToRacism