To The Woman Who Feels Unappreciated – Letters of Lace

In my new series, entitled: “Letters of Lace“, I will be touching on themes and topics that explore some of the more desperate things we women struggle with. Difficult and dark experiences that drain every last ounce of our strength, and leave us feeling hopeless, overwhelmed and misunderstood.

My aim is to write to the “Woman” who is experiencing this present darkness, to offer some comfort and help restore her hope. Letters of Lace are for all of us, feel free to forward them to the “Woman” you think might need a taste of hope and a touch of beauty. After all, there are few things more gentle on the skin, and more beautiful over it, than lace…

Dear unappreciated woman,

I heard you the other day. Telling yourself that you shouldn’t expect to be thanked, because this is what you signed up for – it’s your job, your role, your purpose – so get on with it. I saw you too, sitting on the front porch, trying to enjoy a cup of tea (that you had to make yourself) – but it sat on the table next to you getting cold while you berated yourself for having a pity party celebrating just how unappreciated you are by those you love the most, for whom you’d give the world… for whom you do give the world, and they never even seem to notice.

How I wish I could be part of those conversations you have with yourself. How I wish I was sitting next to you on the front porch, sharing that cup of tea with you… I would speak words soft and gentle. I would remind you that we all want to feel appreciated. Your desire for thanks and appreciation is not unreasonable or selfish. Your longing for that grateful touch, or smile, or word is something we all long for. When others show us appreciation we know that we are valued, and we are encouraged to believe that the things we do hold meaning. This is true for all of us, in every space, and can come from anywhere; through our co-workers at the office or the store, through our friends at the park, through our spouses and family at the dinner table.

I want you to know, dear unappreciated woman, that your prayer for a simple “thank you” from colleagues and friends and family is not silly, or born out of self pity. Appreciation from others reminds us that who we are and what we do is of importance – and there’s nothing silly or self-pitying about that at all. Please don’t feel guilty that you long for thanks.

I saw you working late into the night, and well before the sun came up, on that project for work… having that acknowledged is meaningful. I noticed how you spent all afternoon making a special meal for your family… a simple thank you would have been all the dessert you needed. I eavesdropped on your phone-call to the friend who always takes your call, but never makes a call… how your heart would leap to hear the phone ring and see their name as the caller.

Don’t let that tea get cold while you scold yourself for wanting to be thanked…

I want to sit with you and say thank you. Thank you for the work you do, the service you give, the love you show, the kindness you offer. Thank you for being the woman you are! Thank you for staying up so others can sleep, for sweeping up where no one else sees, for stepping back so others can be brought forward, for reaching down to lift up, for reaching out to hold others close. Thank you for being the woman you are. Thank you!

With love and appreciation,

One Messy Mama

ps – if you want to learn more about the symptoms of feeling un-appreciated, how it can affect us, and how to deal with it. Have a read here .. Put on the kettle, let’s have a cup of tea.

34 thoughts on “To The Woman Who Feels Unappreciated – Letters of Lace

  1. Lovely post, I feel like if we learn to appreciate those around us more then we will notice the little things about how they appreciate us! 🙂 #globalblogging

  2. such a beautiful post, I ‘m sure there are many women out there who feel un-appreciated. I know I have done on many occasion. It always makes those little gestures of appreciation all that more special.

  3. I think there are plenty of women out there that don’t hear “thank you” as often as they should!
    Thank you for saying it! 🙂
    It’s easy to feel unappreciated (even when you are not!) when you work hard to take care of a family that just expects that.

  4. This is a beautiful idea for a series. What a lovely letter. I like the idea of sharing these with women who may be having a tough time. Looking forward to reading more xx #GlobalBlogging

  5. I think this post is lovely and I bet so many relate to it. There are many times that I have unappreciated and I do get upset about it, it feels like a right kick in the teeth… but I also sometimes realise that people can be such pigs sometimes so I’ll buy a big bar of chocolate and remind myself what an awesome job I actually did and do do… Thank you for a fab read. #GlobalBlogging

  6. I loved reading this heartfelt post. And we all feel it at times, well a lot of the time actually, as though we’re really doing it all, holding it all together, and nobody is noticing. Thank you for sharing, #globalblogging

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