Last week I wrote a post “Raising My Sons to be Gentlemen“… and, while I was writing that post, I confess that I was imagining what gentlemen my daughters would end up marrying one day. It’s hard to separate the idea of what kind of men you want your boys to be, from the idea of what kind of men you want your daughters to marry.
And that led me to think more deliberately about the kind of women I want my girls to be…
I want them to be ladies!
In the best sense of the word, of course. When I say “ladies”, I mean that I want them to be gracious, kind, and compassionate – to notice others, and to care deeply for the needs of others. I want them to be courageous, strong, and determined – to chase their dreams through hard work, and to stay the course no matter the obstacles they may face along the way. I want them to be fiercely loyal, and to honor their families (the one they’re growing up in, and the ones they will one day raise themselves – if they choose to).
How do I intend to raise such beautiful ladies? Well, in the same way, that I intend to raise my boys to be gentlemen… by trying to model for them what it looks like. (I am by no means perfect, that’s why I say try)
- I want them to see in me the kind of woman who cares for the needs of others by reaching out and offering help and support whenever I can. I want to be generous with my time and skills – both towards my family and to others – so that my girls will see what it looks like to offer ‘self’ for the benefit of the ‘other’. And I want to create opportunities for them to put this into practice… I want to find ways for them to share and give. And I want to praise them when they do.
- I want them to hear me talk about my dreams in a way that makes it sound possible. I hope they never hear me say things like: “I can’t do it”, or, “I’m just going to give up”, or, “I may as well just not do anything.” I want to tell them – often and loudly – “You’ve got this!” I want to let them run with their brothers, and wrestle their brothers because sometimes they win! And when you can beat your older brother, well, then you can do anything! :)
- Finally, I want them to come to know me as a wife and mom whose first priority is always her family. Because nothing else matters, but because this matters most!
In this way, I hope to raise my daughters to be ladies one day… I believe all moms would want their daughters to be ladies who are compassionate and courageous, who fight for what is right, but in a gracious and loving way! I would love to hear from you about how you are striving for that to happen…
A lovely post I hope my daughters are also ladies one day it’s about us helping them to find the nice path in life thanks for hosting globalblogging
“I believe all moms would want their daughters to be ladies who are compassionate and courageous, who fight for what is right, but in a gracious and loving way! ” – YES!
Yes! I am trying to raise four little super girls with a balance of manners and grace as well as fierceness and tenacity.
It is proving to be one hell of a challenge.
Thanks again for the co-hosting opportunity!
I love this!! I think it can work the other way around too. My daughters have such confidence I feel inspired myself! #GlobalBlogging
Such a lovely and sweet post. I want to raise Miss J as ‘lady’ too #globalblogging
Yes for little ladies! And the point about dreams is so important. When I was teaching I came across so many teenagers that had no drive because they just didn’t believe in themselves or their dreams, and it’s so destructive. Great post :) #GlobalBlogging
A lovely post! My parents always showed us kindness and compassion whilst believing in us totally. I hope I am being just as great a parent. #GlobalBlogging
I don’t have a daughter but I’m trying hard to raise my son to be the same: “compassionate and courageous, who fight for what is right, but in a gracious and loving way” fingers crossed it works! #GlobalBlogging
Yes, I would like to raise my daughter to be a lady too. I hope I am setting a good example for her #GlobalBlogging
I like your way of thinking and way of raising your kids. I have a son and a daughter and my goals are probably the same as yours, to raise them into gentleman and a lady. I try to teach them to believe in themselves, that hard work is necessary to be successful, that by being honest and fair, they will be surrounded by true friends. I tell them to stand up for themselves, but yet always consider others opinions. I try mybest to be positive and accept failure with pride, so that they see it’s OK to fail and it’s OK to ask for help, that helping others and helping yourself makes life so much easier.. I hope I wasn’t too long:))xx #GlobalBlogging
I constantly praise my daughter and other woman around us because I really want her to be a girls girl who lifts herself when times are crap aswell as other women too. #GlobalBlogging
Such a sweet post we all can only try to raise our children to be beautiful human beings. #GlobalBlogging
We really just want the best for our kids don’t we. I agree with you about raising them to be ladies in every sense you describe. I have to watch what I say as I’ve said things like ‘I can’t do this’ and my first thought is I don’t want my kids to ever think or say it!
Another lovely read! I fully agree, another point I would add would be for them to see through me how I’m happy in myself. I grew up with a mum who hated her own image, and it has truly messed with my self respect and self esteem. I hope my children will love their own reflection what ever it is and not put themselves down if they don’t look like the girls/boys in the magazines or don’t fit a size 8. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! #globalblogging
I hope my girls grow up to be caring individuals and unique. Believing in themselves and confident. #GlobalBlogging
Hi there, some great thoughts in this post. Our little girl is only 7 months old but definitely food for thought as she grows up. I think teaching her some main principles i.e. being kind, treating others as you want to be treated and always helping others if you can is a good start for us! Number 2 in your post resounds most for me; you have to dream and believe in yourself! :-)
I totally agree with you. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that they can hear everything that you are saying. But it’s good because it means i stop myself from being negative or doubtful as to set a good example to my daughter and in turn I become a better person. #globalblogging
After reading this post I believe that I need to be more a of a lady myself to help my daughter be more of one, I want her to better than me….#GlobalBlogging
What a lovely post. I loved your previous post on raising a gentlemen, and this is just as inspiring to highlight that you should be the best you can be so that your children will hopefully follow in your footsteps :) #GlobalBlogging
I think being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world especially when it comes to making sure that you’ve raised your children properly so that they will one day be decent people. No one is perfect but I believe that being the best possible role model for your children is definitely the first place to start on building their character. #globalblogging
Awww this is so lovely, I’m sure they will grow up and be everything you wanted and more! #globalblogging
I often wonder how my drama Queen will turn out when she is older…… Probably just like me so I should probably stop.being a drama Queen myself lol xx #globalblogging
These are 3 excellent statements of intent – really well said. I want the same for mine. #globalblogging x
It is a sea of blue in our house, so no daughters – however I think you are absolutely right, if I did have a girl that is what I would strive for as well x #globalblogging
Beautiful post :) I agree with it all! I wish my little girl to grow up into a “lady” also and the best way to do that is for her to see me in the part. Always, kind, caring, helpful and positive :)
And I am sure you will do a great job! Personally, I will try to raise Baba so that he become a gentleman #GlobalBlogging
Totally agree with you. Reach for the stars and never give up are two of my fave sayings for my girls. #globalblogging
I have little boys (I’m going to check out your other post) but I feel like if I did have girls I would have similar dreams and goals for them!
I too have being raising my boy to be a beautiful gentleman – but… as time goes by… m boy is sooo sensitive about everything! It can be very exhausting at times. So I have channel his energy into something else such drama classes. And he really enjoys that. :) #GlobalBlogging
Aww that’s lovely. Yes! Its all we ever want for our girls, hard part is being that role model xx #GlobalBlogging
I def want Pud to be a lady – I want her to believe she can achieve whatever she wants. I also want to raise her to be kind, and to consider others feelings. But mostly I want her to know that I will always believe in her :) #eatsleepblogrt
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