Our sons have just started their first Football season. And we have thoroughly enjoyed watching them learn this new and foreign game. To be honest, I still have no clue how it works… but at least dad is there to give some “rules-of-the-game” support.
They’ve had a pretty good season so far, having won every game except the most recent one (even though at this age we don’t really keep score… right, who doesn’t keep score?). But seriously, more so than winning, what I’ve enjoyed most is watching my boys learn how to be part of a team and grow in their confidence around others. Thankfully for us, we have the most amazing coach who always tells the team that it is all about fun and supporting each other.
Sadly, I couldn’t make the most recent game (teething 1 year old), so there was a steady stream of photos coming through from my husband. When the guys got home there was the usual round of high fives and “Good Game” pats on the Back. Then my husband told me a story about our little 5 yo… During the game, the opposition (who, I might add, beat our team by miles) got a touchdown. So my little Superhero ran up to their coach and gave him a High Five… Say what?! Firstly, SUPER PROUD MOM. Secondly, what makes a 5 yo think of that?
Anyway, I just wanted to eat him up after that! and it got me thinking? How do we raise good sportsman? How do we teach that winning, giving your best and pushing yourself to be the best you can be is important, AS WELL AS, showing kindness, empathy and how to uplift not just another person but an opponent!? How do we raise our kids to become the kind sportsmen and women who honor the sport they play by their good character.
Well, this is my list of things that I would want my kids to know. Let me know what you think?
1.Teaching what it means to be humble in defeat
Let’s be honest, losing sucks! It’s never fun being on the losing team! But, such is life… Sometimes we lose. And I believe that it is so important to teach our kids that even in losing, we must maintain a level of self-respect. And respect for others (team-mates and opponents, coaches, referees, supporters). You were beaten, deal with it; congratulate the other team, and move on. Be humble enough to admit the fact that there will always be someone better than you (no matter how good you are, there is always someone out there who can beat you), and it’s only a matter of time before you meet them on the sports-field; learn to consider it a privilege to play against a player or team better then you; and give them the credit they deserve for beating you. (Then remind them that you will likely meet again, and you promise to be even better next time round – so they’d better be ready.)
2. Teaching what it means to be gracious in victory
It’s so easy to get carried away by the emotions of winning… celebrating can be intoxicating, and when we find ourselves in the throes if victory we tend to go blind to the person or team we beat.The best kind of winner is the one who is able to acknowledge their opponent, and give them due respect by thanking them for the privilege of playing the game with them. Make no mistake, the point of competing is to win – but we must always remember that without an opponent there would be no game in the first place.
3. Parents & Kids to show Respect for teammates, coaches, referees, and opposing team
Much of points 1 & 2 can be summarized under the simple word “respect”… we need to respect everyone involved in the game; and our kids will not learn this by themselves. Our kids watch our every move. If they see or hear us disrespecting the coaches, parents, referees and players, they will follow suit and display the same behavior. We as parents need to teach respect for the game, and the people involved in it.
4. Being a team player – behavior is reflected back to team – Always stay calm
Whenever our children “lose” their cool (which, lets be honest, as a sportsman or woman happens fairly easily) it is important that they know how to deal with that emotion. Feed it into playing harder, giving your all. Not to react in a negative way that might reflect badly on the team and their coach. No team member ever makes a mistake on purpose, and it’s only a matter of time before you will make a mistake of your own, so give that team member a hand back up and be sure to let them know that you’re in it together.
5. Always play Fair
No matter what happens in the game, it is important to NEVER cheat. That is just not an option! There are rules for a reason. And, in my opinion, if the rules cannot be followed, then the game should not be played… Playing by the rules reflects integrity and self-respect! Our kids need to know that… There is never a need to cheat (see point 1). It goes against the grain of the very nature of sport, and reveals poor judgement. This is such an important aspect of being a good sportsman. Simple honesty, and respect for the rules of the game.
6. Encourage Team Members
Being able to put your teammates before yourself reveals character. Sometimes our teammates need to be encouraged and inspired. Maybe the opposition needs a little encouragement or a pat on the back when an injury occurs. Kindness goes a long way!
7. End of game ritual, shake everyone’s hand
There is nothing better than watching two teams walk up to each other and shake hands. No matter how grueling or intense the game was. It’s the right thing to do!
So hopefully by trying to teach my children these vital points, they will become the sportsmen and women I know and believe they can be!
Great post! Being gracious in victory is so important. And also not slamming down your racket or kicking something when you loose. Tough lessons to learn but I think you make a brilliant point about children watching us for their social cues. Respect is everything! Thanks for linking up! #bigpinklink
It’s sometimes frightening how much they learn from us, isn’t it! :) x
oh god all these things are so important arent they..these things we teach them now that will stay with them. sounds like you’ve got it down though! #brillblogposts
Love this, it’s so important to be a good sportsperson and that goes for adults too. Yes losing isn’t fun but it should motivate you for the next game/accolade. Being gracious is so important and not letting it prevent you from taking part.
Great post! Parents need to instill good sportsmanship – teaches the kids so much more than the game! #GlobalBlogging
A high 5 to the other coach… ahhh man, how precious is your little boy?! You guys are clearly doing an amazing job with your young sportsmen! :) x #GlobalBlogging
This just makes me realise that there are so many things I have to teach my daughter m. It’s just tye beginning and much of how she grows up to be will depend on me. Oh my, parenting is tough!
A resounding yes to all of those points! Playing a sport and having a good coach sure go a long way in inculcating a sporting spirit in players. And that is so important – on the field and off! #mg
Humble in defeat and gracious in victory is something I really worked on with one young person. Love it. It’s so important and they form better relationships with others because of this. #GlobalBlogging
Great post – it’s so important for kids to learn the rules of teamwork and losing graciously through sport. It’s not just about being the best, in fact it’s not really about that at all, it’s learning to respect others and good sportsmanship. #globalblogging
I love this post – read it twice over! Such important life lessons to learn for us adults too.
I hate sports and PE in school was awful. I am the least competitive person in the world and am definitely not sporty. My son has inherited this outlook an trying to build him up when he comes last in a race is dreadful. He has no problem with teamwork and collaboration but extolling physical achievement is harmful in my view. #globalblogging
Some top tips X #globalblogging
Great post. I am a huge fan of sports and competition for kids. It really does teach them so much about how to behave correctly in the real world.
Well done guys!
I’m working particularly on number 1 with my daughter. I think I’m slowly getting through to her. She really doesn’t like loosing and who does but she can make such a song and dance about it! She is pretty modest when it comes to winning though and she does try to work as a team x
Well done to your boy for his sportsmanship though x
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