Blog Posts,  Family

My Girl … Never Apologise For Being Flamboyant

Tonight I had an earth shattering realisation – perhaps even life changing (but we’ll have to check back on that one) – I parent in a very controlling way.

As a parent, I am always trying to control my children. And I mean that in the nicest way possible… not in some crazy-mom obsessive kind of way. Let me explain; I am forever telling them to sit nicely, eat with their mouths closed, mind their P’s and Q’s, greet politely, say please and thank you – and I am laser focused on making sure these things are always remembered… control, control, control. Not that this is ALWAYS a bad thing, of course. Obviously, our kids need to be ‘controlled’ sometimes (but let me not speak for all moms out there… mine certainly do). Sometimes they need a little reminder of the social norms we are compelled to live by – for good reason.

But sometimes, sometimes, we need to step into that little world of theirs and recognise that social norms can be set aside for a moment – in the name of just being real. So tonight I decided to stop apologising for my daughter’s behavior.

The one for whom I always apologise because she’s little more free-spirited than most can deal with, a little louder than most ears are used to, a little busier than most are willing to tolerate. I always apologise for her behaviour. But not tonight!

Tonight I want to write about her in an unapologetic way…

My sweet sweet child. I look at you and I am amazed at your zest for life. You live in a world of unicorns, glitter and fairy dust. Where everyone is good and kind. You twirl about like a ballerina dancing your heart out in a dream of Swan Lake. Your giggles are like the warm rays of sunshine that burst forth with the promise of comfort on a cold winter’s day. Your energy beyond anything that I have ever known.

In the bath… you swim with mermaids. On the lawn… you drink tea with princesses. In the house, between bedroom and kitchen… you walk the halls of castles. And in the garden… you explore all kinds of wonderful kingdoms. Always waiting to discover yet another adventure that leads you to princesses, and dragon slayers, and angels in the sky.

Yes, my sweet sweet child. I am simply amazed at the way you look at life. If only I could climb into that little bubble of yours and feel the fresh air on top of that beanstalk. Breath in the salty sweet air on that pirate ship, and run with the wild horses across plains of tall green grass.

The excitement that pours out of you, the pure and utter glee that surrounds you. That my sweet child is a gift. In a world so dark and dreary.

So twirl a little more, dance on the stage of angels, lasso another dragon, and swim the tides with the mermaids.

For I will always be sitting and watching, thanking you for making me believe in a world of goodness. Proud to be called your Mama.

So finally my sweet sweet child, never apologise for being you. And – from tonight – I won’t apologise anymore either. For you bring so much joy. I may still want to control you a little, sometimes I may need to, but I will always admire you.

With Love

One Messy Mama – (Your Mama)



  • Lyn kreyfelt

    Such an inspiring and thoughtful message. . We don’t always remember ghee are times when we just have to “let go ” .

  • Jeannette Wentzel

    So nice. We get so busy with parenting roles sometimes that we forget to stop and just appreciated kids for the special wonderful beings that they are. Glad to see you back. #globalblogging

  • Susie/So Happy In Town

    I’m guily of apologising for my kids too especially when we’re out and older people are tutting and glaring at us and I feel mortified that they’re not all sitting pristinely like Victorian children. But you’re so right, we should never apologise for them. They’re themselves and of course we need to teach them manners etc but they also need to be free and your girl sounds simply wonderful and free spirited. A lovely letter acknowledging her unique beauty. #globalblogging

  • Nursery Whines

    Such a lovely, heartfelt post and one we can all learn from. I am definitely guilty of this sometimes. But I also try to let my daughter be free – maybe a little too free when I let her jump off the bed (from a sitting position) and fracture her foot…! But you are right – never apologise for who you are. #GlobalBlogging

  • Lydia C. Lee

    I love the unabated joie de vivre in children – it’s such a flaw (as I’ve said many times) that the teenage years rob them of that. Good for you if you can get it back! #Globalblogging

  • Jessica - A Modern Mom's Life

    Sometimes I struggle with my kids and their inattentiveness. But when you stop and listen, it’s amazing what they are doing with their imaginations. I try so hard to let me kids be themselves – and it’s interesting to see the differences between them as well. Great post!

  • Amy @ Arty apple

    Ahh I love this and I think we can all be guilty or trying to control our kids because we are so conscious of encouraging ‘good’ behaviour that we forget to just let them be. This is fantastic, great post Jacqui

  • Heather Burnett

    Well thanks for making me cry at 8 am!
    You are so right! I do the same thing! I think I get caught up in what moms are supposed to do…supposed to teach-the “Yes Mams” “No Sirs” and the “Don’t Chew with Your Mouth Opens” that I forget that is just as important to foster her spirit & unique personality! (My nine year old will be thanking you for this post!:))


  • Liz Deacle

    This is absolutely beautiful. Those little adventurous minds are to be cherished. I wish when I look at my 16-year-old son on the computer that he was still heading over the fields with a stick in his hand to fight monsters.

  • Helen @talking_mums

    I’m so glad you wrote this. I’m the same. It was only a week or so ago a friend was moaning about her husband who tells their kids to sit nicely and apologises for ‘normal’ behaviour in public situations and I realised that was me too!! My kids are normal not naughty but I find myself ‘controlling’ them too. I should loosen up a bit 😉

  • Alana - Burnished Chaos

    This is beautiful. I’ve been feeling a little over controlling myself lately, especially when it comes to noise, but I have to keep stopping myself and remembering they’re not actually being naughty, they’re just being kids and having fun and I don’t want to stifle that x

  • Eva Katona

    That’s beautiful! I often feel the same, but whenever in public, I just can’t help myself and keep telling him: say please, thank you, share, be gentle etc. Not just because that’s what I do, but also because I feel like I’m expected to say such things, by the other parents around me. Who is it actually I’m trying to impress? I don’t know, I just feel like I have to show control and authority. We all have got lessons to learn and when you have a rare Eureka moment, just use it. #globalblogging

  • Mrs Mummy Harris

    I love this, having been a child that felt like i needed to conform to the “norm” but as I got older I realised that people will either love me or hate me and if they hate me I dont need them in my life!
    It is so lovely she has your support to be true to herself! #globalblogging

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