To The Woman Drowning In Her Insecurities – Letters Of Lace

The definition of insecurity is as follows – the anxiety or uncertainty about oneself.

As women, we tend to be overcome with insecurities. I know this may seem a bold statement, if not an over-simplified generalization… Show me a lady that does not have any insecurities and I will happily eat my words (and apologise). We are emotionally wired. It’s part of our genetic makeup to interpret and process things from a place of emotion.

I was doing some research for this post and came across an article written by Womenio. In this article, it states that these are the 15 most common insecurities that plague us ladies.

  1. Sexuality
  2. Age
  3. Weight (I think that should be right on top of the list)
  4. Hair colour
  5. Eye colour
  6. Height
  7. Breast size
  8. Maybe will not call me back
  9. I guess just wants to sleep with me
  10. Is he dating other women?
  11. He is not attracted to me anymore
  12. Money
  13. Career
  14. Creative Life
  15. Intelectual life
Let’s start by looking at WHAT makes us insecure?

There are many reasons for why we are insecure, but the downright truth is: we just don’t feel good enough. This can stem from past experiences that have had a lasting negative impact on us, these experiences lead to a low self-esteem. Low self-esteem finds a seat deep within ourselves and runs over into the different aspects mentioned above.

What happens WHEN our insecurities rise?

The old saying, “actions speak louder than words” rings very true when dealing with our own insecurities. Often when we are speaking unkindly about another person, breaking them down and generally just being negative. We are subconsciously projecting our own insecurities on to their “person”. It’s not necessarily them that’s the problem.

You see, it is far easier to break down another person by making ourselves look like the “top dog” than deal with the real reason for why we are insecure. Bringing up those reasons can be painful, therefore we look for the easy way out.

Within relationships, our insecurities hold us hostage and we become people that we don’t recognize. Some of us settle for relationships that are poisonous because we don’t feel like we deserve better.

How do we DEAL with our insecurities

Cut The Cord

Remove yourself from toxic relationships where you are drowned by insecurities. We need to surround ourselves with people that lift us up, encourage us and push us to be a better version of ourselves!

Embrace Positive Thinking

This for me is crucial to surviving our insecurities. I believe these negative thoughts can steal so much joy from us. They are like weeds that take over our soul and leave us feeling empty and broken. When those negative thoughts and feelings start to disturb the surface, drive them away, fight them by speaking positively about the situation. Now I’m not saying you should publicly repeat positive phrases to yourself, that would just look odd. However, stop, take a deep breath and YES, begin thinking positively. The more of a habit this becomes the easier it is to believe about ourselves!

Start Appreciating Yourself

Know your worth. Believe in yourself. Remind yourself daily of all your positive attributes. Do things that you love, that make YOU happy. Have your nails done, a new hairdo, go for a walk, anything that reminds you of what a good person you are and makes you feel gorgeous.

Be Mindful Of Your Reactions

If you find yourself in a situation that brings forth those insecurities. Take note of how you react. Make a conscious decision to change your response. This will make you aware of what gives rise to your insecurities and help you consciously change your behavior.

Know The Truth

Know that most people are not aware of your insecurities. They don’t stand in front of you thinking, oh boy this chick is freaking out. Our insecurities are within ourselves. We can choose how to deal with them and overcome them.

We just have to take the first step.

I wrote a post on how I survived my own insecurities. You can read it here 🙂


Much Love


27 Comments on “To The Woman Drowning In Her Insecurities – Letters Of Lace”

  1. Good advice. This list is very disturbing to some point: I can’t really imagine having insecurities over my eye colour – but definitely yes nearly half of the list, and I consider myself a self confident person! It’s great that you raise awareness. #globalblogging

  2. Thanks for sharing. Great read. My wife and I have adopted the a few phrases to help get past our anxieties: 1) “success is a mindset” inspired by Get Hard. 2) feel the fear and do it anyway. They work for us at least 😀


  3. Why is it that our own insecurities are bigger to us in our own heads than they need to be? Some of the things in that list surprised me, like eye colour and hair colour! I agree that knowing your worth is so valuable, it is what gives us purpose and is so vital for those who suffer from depression to recognise. #globalblogging

  4. Lots to think about here. I find that now I am a parent a lot of my old insecurities have evaporated as image just doesn’t feel as important to me. And I want to be a positive role model. But now my insecurities are about, Can I still do my job? Am I more than just a mother? I work hard to keep my identity. #GlobalBlogging

  5. Great post. I don’t think deep-rooted insecurities ever go away, but they can ebb and flow and change over time. Like you say, the biggest power we have is to choose how we feel. #globalblogging

  6. Much needed advice, Jacqui! I liked reading this as it applies to my teen and tween. I’m trying hard to teach them “Know the truth” that not everyone is aware of their supposed insecurities. Really, no one is noticing. But at that age they think everyone is watching them. Sigh!


  7. I have always been insecure and i think having hearing problems as a kid started it off as family members couldnt understand me so i had my sister translate for me. Since then i’ve always been self conscious until I got with Hubby. He’s honestly the best person for my confidence and him and his family have over the years let me love myself through their love and reassurance that they love me for me, faults and all! #globalblogging

  8. The things you describe in how to deal with insecurities are the very things I use to improve myself as a person. I think this is a lifetime journey for all of us as we grow and learn more about ourselves and our world but they are perfect for overcoming our own insecurities as well. Very well put! Thanks so much for sharing this with us! #globalblogging

  9. This is a fantastic post, everyone can benefit from reading this. I love the advice to mind how you react, you alone control many outcomes through how you handle them. #GlobalBlogging

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