When Motherhood Becomes Too Much

      37 Comments on When Motherhood Becomes Too Much

When Motherhood Becomes Too MuchYou finally get a moment to look down and see this beautiful little face in front of you. Two closed eyes, a cute little nose and full pink lips. Wow, it takes your breath away. Absolute perfection.

Even sleepless nights can’t burst this bubble of pure bliss. Whether it’s no 1 or 5, the euphoria of moments like these cannot be dimmed. ย And that is good, that is how it should be. A moment never to be missed.

And then reality smacks you right in the face (just in case you got lost in that little moment of bliss). And when I say, “reality smacks you in the face” I mean a plastic lion gets flung across the living room, by a jumping jack, and it was meant to connect with his brother’s head, but crashed into the lamp instead. The baby is screaming, because she is teething, and refusing to sleep. The 3 year old is covering your carpet it Disney Princess nail varnish…

You are wakened from that short moment of reminiscing about the days when all “seemed” calm and “easy” and you look straight into aย World War #3ย of epic domestic proportions.

You haven’t packed away the laundry, there are dirty dishes in the sink, and remnants of this morning’s breakfast all over the carpet… Oh wait… The beds have not been made, you’ve not showered, cleaned your teeth or brushed your hair and put on make-up, you’re still in your pj’s. It seems as if the screaming hasn’t stopped in days. Exhaustion is taking over every fibre of your being. You just spent the night on the couch because Little Miss Independent almost woke the whole house with a tantrum at midnight, and you decided it’s best to sleep downstairs. There might even be a slight “crick” in your neck…

Where did it all go wrong? You ask yourself. How on earth did I find myself here? Although I’ve never experienced Post Partum Depression, I can totally understand the overwhelming feeling of not being in control. Sometimes we feel like the world’s worst mother. When it gets to this point we could quite easily walk out the door…

We all know those perfect families who live next door. The ones where the children are always impeccably behaved. Never a tantrum or pouty face in sight. I guess that just adds fuel to the fire. How have I gone wrong, what do I need to do to be that perfect parent, with perfect children in a perfect house?

Well, let me tell you something, this mama right here has had those days… when all I wanted to do was close by bedroom door, crawl under the duvet and cry. And yes… Just CRY!

Cry for my kids that are playing up, cry for my house that never seems to be clean, cry for the moments of utter exhaustion and frustration, when lifting my hand would be far easier than a gentle conversation. Cry for feeling like I have failed my husband and children by becoming the Wicked Witch of the West. Cry for not knowing how to have more patience, and cry for not knowing what has become of ME!?

This is when motherhood just seems to be too much!

So how do we survive? Well, we remember those moments that are so incredibly special to us. The ones that remind us of why we CHOSE to be mothers. The moments I referred to in the opening few lines of this post. That first look into our baby’s eyes. The first smile, cuddle, kiss, tooth, word, step, the first day at school, the first concert, the first time we hear “I love you Mommy”. Because they won’t just be firsts… They will be forever’s.

So in those dark days when we don’t feel like we can carry on. When we are suffocating under the pillow of motherhood. Those are the days when we have to push ourselves to remember; to feel, and to know, that no matter how much we may feel like we are falling a part , that little person loves us so deeply and unconditionally that it doesn’t matter if we have a bad day. They will always hold our hand, kiss us goodnight and say… “I love you Mommy.”

THEY are the reason why we pull through. They are the reason we sometimes need to say sorry,ย and they are the reason why we live.

With love

One Messy Mama

x

37 thoughts on “When Motherhood Becomes Too Much

  1. Savannah (@HowHesRaised)

    Ah, this is so, so very true. There are times when my 1-year-old drives me insane with his whining. Just today, I was trying to catch up on the dishes (which were overflowing the sink), get breakfast started, and do a million other things and he was just whining at my feet for no reason. I so badly needed 10 minutes to myself just to catch up, but it was HIM who got me through that overwhelming moment. When I looked down at him, and asked him what was wrong, he sat down and just giggled. That was all I needed to be reminded that he was the one who mattered the most.
    Thank you so much for this beautiful post <3 #brillblogposts

    1. jaxbest4 Post author

      Savannah thank you so much for your kind words! Sometimes it is just so hard, it’s then that I try and pull myself together and remember how little they are and that its my job to teach them right and wrong! Thanks again for visiting! X

  2. dadbloguk

    The perfect family that lives next door?? Ha ha, it’s all an act, a veneer and one day it will all go horribly wrong! Anyway, take it from this stay at home dad that we guys feel the same way too sometimes. #brilliantblogposts

  3. ourrachblog

    So true. There are days when it all gets a bit too much, when the house is a mess, the incessant whining becomes too much etc. but then it all gets put into perspective when they wrap their arms around your neck and give you a smile. #brilliantblogposts

  4. nightwisprav3n

    That is very true and when my boys were small, I definitely had my moments and I only have two kids who are five years apart, yet when they were small, motherhood definitely got overwhelming but as you said, remembering that first moment we meet our little bundles of joy makes up for everything! Popping over from #coolmumclub

  5. ljdove23

    So true! Infact I am having one of those days today. With 3 under 3 and the incessant crying and whinging and shouting, on top of feeling poorly myself, it really has all got a bit much! But then, as I sat there crying this afternoon, my little boy climbed up onto my knee and said I love you for the very first time and it was all worth it….albeit short term before the screaming started again! #coolmumclub

    1. jaxbest4 Post author

      What a precious moment! Amidst all the chaos!!! One day they will be all grown and these beautiful moments will be the ones we remember most! X

  6. A mum track mind

    My mum had six (yes six!!) kids and she tells a tale after number 4 (all under the age of 6 years old) she felt she couldn’t cope one day so she walked out and got as far as the park at the bottom of the road, sat there and cried for an hour before she went home again. My Dad had been left with the kids and hadn’t even noticed that she had gone lol. These days happen to us all! #brillblogposts

  7. motherhoodtherealdeal

    I swear this could have been me writing this so many times over…and the rainbow comes and blows the shitstorm away…until the next one comes! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x

  8. Petite Pudding (@petite_pudding)

    Very true – I could certainly have written this a few times. Ah those days where you just want to get in the car and drive off into the sunset, but don’t and then a little person snuggles into you and says ‘love oo’ and its not quite such a terrible place to be. #coolmumclub

  9. Nicole

    Super post. So true, so common and sooo relatable. I have these up and down moments almost daily… but you (and everyone else who has commented) is so right… its those little moments that become the highlight of our day and the centrepoint of our lives! #coolmumclub

    Nicole
    http://talesfrommamaville.wordpress.com

  10. min1980

    Very true. We all have those moments, but the good times far outweigh them, without a doubt. #brilliantblogposts

  11. debsrandomwritings

    You’ve summed up being a MuMm very well, my two are nineteen and sixteen and my house is still upside down, as am I! Focusing on those special moments is what keeps us sane and although I can’t say my two enjoy snuggles anymore, or want to walk down the road holding my hand (if they do, I’m on full alert!), we still have special moments and laugh together.

    Parenting is like a book, each year is a new chapter and each chapter brings new adventures! And don’t you think pre-baby sanity is overrated anyway?

    xx

  12. Honest Mum

    We all suffer from this, parenting can be so tough and thank goodness for blogs and honesty so we all feel less alone. Sending hugs and understanding x

    1. jaxbest4 Post author

      Thank you! The blogging world has opened my eyes to this great world of “Mummy Support”, it’s been wonderful!

  13. twotinyhands

    This is so true! I love honesty when people write! All the tough things get squashed though when the little people smile and hug you! #abrandnewday

  14. Penelope

    It’s scary – I have days when my love for him is overwhelming, and others where I just for a quiet half hour. And then, like today when he’s teething, his temperature is 39.4 and all I want is for him to bounce around the lounge saying “choo choo Mamma. Choo choo” until I sing the Runaway train for the 456th time that morning.

    My mum always says that you have to remember that what you see of other people (especially perfect neighbours) is their highlights, whereas you see your unedited cut.

    1. jaxbest4 Post author

      Motherhood is one Rollercoaster ride.. I guess is Mama’s have to go along and enjoy the ride! ๐Ÿ˜€. Thank you for visiting! X

  15. This Mum's Life

    Wow, that could’ve been me writing this!! I have to admit to feeling like this for most of the day, most weeks!! Especially feeling like you’ve let your husband/children/the world down, by just not being good enough!! And then the pure guilt that you lost your temper/spent ages thinking you hated your life, when they announce something like ‘mummy I love you for ever and ever…’ Being a mum is so hard/frustrating/relentless, that I think we have to be ok with feeling like this a lot of the time, just as long as the crying and needing to escape doesn’t become overwhelming… We just keep holding on to those small moments of clarity!! Thanks so much for sharing with #bigpinklink.

  16. Attachment Mummy

    Perfect. Those days happen all too often, and to all of us. But those little hands, faces and voices make it all worthwhile, when we remember again. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFabulous

  17. the frenchie mummy

    Love your post. I already feel like that sometimes and my little one is only months! He needs so much attention, but I need some Me time, or am I dreaming that it is possible when you have kids? Having said that, I love it when my little boy smiles at me or giggles when I am playing stupid. Yes I sometimes miss doing what I want when I want like my friends, but I know that deep down, they are jealous of me.

  18. Pingback: Welcome to the #coolmumclub...week 22! — Motherhood: The Real Deal

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