I sit here, on yet another monumental day, thinking to myself: how on earth do we parents process all the emotions that pump through our veins? The bewildering mix of great pride when something new is learnt, terrible fear about an uncertain future, blood-curdling anger at bad behaviour, unbridled joy when we hear our children laugh and so many other emotions that course through our veins on a daily basis – all mixed together in a bowl called love deep, immeasurable, unconditional, life-changing and life-giving LOVE.
Every thought, every feeling that our children
inflict upon evoke within us, is intense and I often wonder how we parents survive that.
Yesterday my dear Sir and HULK headed off for first grade and kindergarten. Big smiles on their faces, not a care in the world. Saying goodbye to Sir seemed a little harder, because (as it should be) I wasn’t given the time to linger, kiss and cuddle as I wanted to. (As I’m sure MOST moms wanted too). To just hold him one moment longer. He just gave me this reassuring smile that said, Mom, I’ve got this! Then he turned and ran to his class…
Stop my beating heart!
Luckily I got to spend an hour with HULK and his teacher, being introduced to how things are done in the class. He was beyond excited, bouncing up and down like TIGGER, about to explode with curiosity. He kept saying: “Look mom, I’m a big kid now.”
Walking away from this, down that LONG corridor and out the school building, there was the very familiar, almost ever-present, lump in my throat and tears threatening to fall.
It’s a bittersweet moment. I mean, it’s not that we don’t want them to grow up and reach that next phase in their development. But it is in some ways a little sad, because with every milestone that is reached, it feels like they need us a little less. That they are out-growing their dependence on us. Which yes, we know is a good thing, but that doesn’t make it any easier! I often find myself thinking: “I will never get that moment back.”
In some instances, we tend to rush some milestones, eagerly waiting for that first smile, the first tooth, the first step. We anticipate all these “first” experiences and spend so much time behind the camera trying to freeze this moment in time, that we might actually not get to experience it in the full!.
Oh to be a parent!!! 🙂
I cry when milestones are reached, because they remind me of what my child has achieved. Whether it was difficult or not. I cry when milestones are reached because I’m proud of them. I cry when milestones are reached because I waited so long for these kids that I just want to lock them in a glass box and protect them from the world! I cry when milestones are reached because it means (for me), that I have done something right. Their achievements become my achievements. I may not be perfect, I may have made countless bad choices, but when I look at my children and the achievements they have/are and will make, the emotions just burst forth.
It makes me one happy/emotional/proud/joy-filled/excited Mama. (Any other adjectives you would like to add :)…
Milestones are to be treasured, and yes sometimes (most times) cried over!
One Messy Mama